It is like there is someone trapped in my chest and every few heart beats they join in and pound pound pound on the inside of my chest. They tell me that being stressed will only make it worse, but how am I supposed to be anything but stressed when I am having constant heart palpitations and no one can tell me WHY?
Okay for anyone who doesn't know what is going on: On Sunday I started having some heart palpitations; this has happened to me once before early on in the summer and it came and went without incident. It was mainly just annoying. But then Monday the palpitations were so bad that I couldn't concentrate in class, so I went to the on-campus doctor and they ran several EKGs (about 7, 45 minutes of lying on that vinyl and paper covered 'bed' hooked up to a bunch of wires). Only one EKG came out conclusive, which seriously freaked me out, so I called my family doctor for a second opinion and was told by a nurse that if my resting heart rate reached above 90 or I began having chest pain to go into the ER. Well, both of the above happened so to the ER I went. I was given another EKG (seriously I could probably administer one myself by now) and a chest X-ray before they declared that I had heart palpitations (no way!), set me up with a cardiologist and sent me on my way. I saw the cardiologist yesterday and he couldn't figure it out either, so I am set to have an echo cardiogram (an ultrasound of my heart) on Tuesday. I will also be hooked up to a heart monitor, which I will take around with me and wear for 24 hours (which won't be weird at all). I also have a nice list of blood work to get done.
I really hate this, it is like my body is suddenly not mine. It isn't listening to me, I can't control it and it is seriously stressful, uncomfortable and yeah, scary. I can't sit still for any amount of time without feeling the hard thump thump, pound pound from that little person trapped within my chest. I just want it to stop, I just want to be left alone... hah... left alone by my own heart. Good luck with that. I just wish that it would calm down and leave me be, beat like normal, like any normal 22 year old's heart.
Can't I just be a normal 22 year old?
No?
I can't have things my way?
No surprise there.
Here I Am.
- Danielle Renauld
- This is where I go when I have things to say but no one to say them to.
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Dani:
ReplyDeleteNext time you see a cardiologist be sure to mention that there is a history of arrhythmia-related disorders in your family. Granny's father had this condition, as does Granny. He took digitalis and Granny is presently taking beta-blockers. I've had two severe incidents similar to yours and have been taking beta blockers for the past fifteen years to alleviate symptoms and Uncle Bob was also on meds for some time before having his particular variation (Wolf-Parkinson-White Syndrome) successfully treated via what I think is called a catheter ablation procedure.
Stress and lack of sleep tends to be a trigger for these incidents, so you'll probably be advised to take measures in these areas. It's worth trying to find non-pharmaceutical ways to deal with these issues, i.e. relaxation exercises, just plain exercise, naps, etc., as any prescribed meds are likely to come with unpleasant side effects, especially in terms of compounding fatigue and depression.
I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I hope you can take solace in the fact that this is a treatable and manageable condition. And please be adamant and aggressive about seeking treatment. Ask a lot of questions and remain proactive, especially if there is any mention of irreversible procedures like pacemaker implants. This was presented to me as the go-to option after my cardiac problems in 1994 and I had to insist on pursuing a med regimen with holter monitoring as an alternative.
As always, my thoughts and best wishes are with you and I hope to hear promising news from you on this matter soon. Of course, I look forward to reading your next installment in the memoir, too. Please bear in mind that, as a devoted writer, putting your thoughts down on paper will always be not only a means of therapy but also self-empowerment. Keep tapping into that, okay?
love,
Uncle Ron