My heart palpitates. Again.

Heart still palpitating and no Abilify to blame this time. High cholesterol? So young? Am I going to be that fat chick? No.

Tired.

Sick of who my father has become. He is no longer a father, Who is in these pictures hanging beside his computer? His girl friend's children. Where are we? Me, Jessie, Amanada... What are me? Oh right, I am a house sitter, Amanda is a hotel and Jessie is dead. I no longer have a father, I am aqcuainted with a 53 year-old man who thinks he is 16 and speaks of nothing but his girlfriend. Cares for nothing but his girlfriend.

We are nothing to you anymore. We are your fuck up. Jessie died. Amanda moved. Mom left. You kicked me out. Time to start over? Time to forget us? When you are in Fort Wayne, will you still try to see me if I refuse to see her? I already know the answer. Same as the one I would get if I asked you to choose between me and Amanda and Janet. NO. She wins.

Thanks Dad. Once you find a few more ways to slap me in the face, besides the house sitting, the pictures, the cards, the failure to plan ahead, the constant name droppings, you just let me know.

There are worse titles than The Girl Who Accidentally Over Dosed, right?

Fuck you Father.