Solitary confinement.

I am incapable of being alone. Maybe David is right and he is a rebound. Maybe after I got rid of Zack I needed someone else to fill my time, to fill the whole in my chest, and I clung to the first man that came along. I hope that isn't the case. I just know that I cannot be alone. I spend the entire time in bed, waiting for someone to call, to drag me away from myself. I am not alive when I am alone, suspended animation, frozen in time, locked in that cell, solitary confinement. So I freely hand out the key to my cell, hoping that this time, this person, will be the one to leave the door open, to stay with me, to want to spend all that needed time with me. But that person doesn't exist, I might as well toss the key but I just keep hoping I will find that person that will fill this huge whole in the center of my being, this gap in my life. I have David right now but I feel it slipping, or is that just me? Maybe it is all just me. Just me. Just. Me. Alone. Again.