What happens....

What happens when you don't eat for three days and overdose on Klonopin? This is one of those "if I die, my bad" posts. I just don't feel like eating, the light headedness that comes with the hypoglycemia distracts part of my brain. The Klonopin distracts another portion of my brain into thinking I am a zombie. Then I am only left with that chunk of brain that realizes she is alone. That realizes she just got dumped by what she thought was a fantastic guy. She realizes she won't be getting anymore hello kisses or kisses goodnight, no more holding hands or random touches or fingers running through my hair. No more. And now comes the stage where I hope, constantly hope, he changes his mind and comes back to me, even though I know he wont. No more feeling wanted, even loved. No more. So I take the drugs on an empty stomach and I pray for oblivion and should I fail to wake in the morning know that it was not fully intentional but it is not unwanted either. It isn't because of a boy it is because of life, I was not designed to handle life and that is why, should I fail to wake in the morning, part of you should breathe a sigh of relief for me, for it means that my pain is over.